Log in

just to be contrary, i'm going back to lydiasings. Because I feel like it, and I want my paid account and old friends back. You guys are welcome to come along. Sex type entries will probably be at wearefucked.

Feb. 23rd, 2007

anyone able to reccommend something better than ysi, be my guest.

A Friend - http://download.yousendit.com/80D39C277EF43156

All But Forgotten - http://download.yousendit.com/D87064801A8EEA8F

Borrowed Life - http://download.yousendit.com/896DEEB97AA427BD

Clinging - http://download.yousendit.com/A458224835BD1D23

Get off my back - http://download.yousendit.com/FF863E6460918630

Got Faith - http://download.yousendit.com/5AA34AF14408C693

Tell Yourself No - http://download.yousendit.com/A24F3EEC6E449F3A

Enjoy. Apologies for rubbishness of recording. Need recs for decent recording equipment and a digital camera. anybody?


more fishing through my songwriting efforts of the last five years to find songs suitable for working on. so much stuff about friends and family that still brings tears to my eyes. but there is a fair amount that i just look at and shake my head because i really can't see myself singing that now. i guess the time since i first began writing songs, probably getting on for 7 years ago, has been a very formative time. will put more up when access...
I just feel like subjecting you stuff, so here are two uber rough telephone recordings of me singing my own songs. Over and out...



stuff to sell

help me have some bloody space!
all that shitCollapse )
and a bit of new stuffCollapse )


damn. i'm officially far too cold and tired to sleep. and my hot facial flushes are back. lovely... arghs :(
can i handle being around when other people are kissing/flirting outrageously/excluding me? no.
how should i handle it? try to jump in and focus on making friends, enjoying good company, etc.
will i do this? some of the time, yes.
should i hide and not go anywhere near people because of depression/ inferiority complex size of africa? no, that'll just make things worse.
it's an ongoing battle, gah. supportiveness, anyone? pretty please? meh. cry
tue 6th: 1-4pm house stuff, 7.30-10.30pm poly meet.
wed 7th: 12pm eye test, 2'30-4pm movement, 6pm ladies munch, then underworld?
thu 8th: 2-3 and 5-6.30pm house stuff.
fri 9th: 12-1 and 3-5pm house stuff, 6pm self injury meet, then bmovie.
sat 10th: bifest all day...
sun 11th: 12-6pm fetish fair, 6pm make dinner.
mon 12th: 5-6pm house meet.
tue 13th: 1-4pm house stuff, 7pm bi underground
wed 14th: 2'30-4pm movement. female bi group. u?
can you feel it? that quiet desperation, that despair, that depression hanging over me. all because my bedroom's a mess and my cooking isn't up to Arbours standards. god, lydie... ee hell it's a mess and i feel all shitty and dead, far too ill to do anything about it. argh. :( just wanna collapse and sleep for years... :( mehness
anyone wanna volunteer to live with me in a nice flat by the seaside and give me attention and affection as well as part of the rent? answers on a postcard. volunteers to drive all my stuff around the country, as well as volunteers to visit me frequently and not forget i exist also required.
also, question: what would happen if i left the house i'm in now? what if i left london and lived somewhere where people said hi and there was room for me?